The Cat Who Ate to Much and the Turkey Next Door®

This morning has been quite the event. I was about to leave for work when the unexpected happened. As I opened my blinds to let a little sunlight in, I peered out towards the back yard and saw our friendly neighborhood cat. As it turns out, he is not so friendly. He was jumping around in a circle, and I thought "Boy, he sure is frisky today. I hope he doesn't try to bite me on my way out." It turns out he was to busy biting a chipmunk. A bite here, a paw slap there...I watched this debating on whether or not to stop mother natures game of 'Cat and...Chipmunk.' Eventually I decided the best thing to do would be letting nature run its course. The chipmunk fought bravely, but in the end, I'm afraid the small lioness won out. I was so enamored with the ability to see a chipmunk up close (usually you see a blur of brown when they run by) that I finally looked down and realized it was 8:00. Guess what time I was supposed to be at work? You can see pictures of the Frisky Feline and Chipmunk Corpse below. So then, as I'm on my way to work, I pass a car I had seen broken down the night before in a church parking lot. This is a nice late 1990's model cop car in good condition. Unfortunately, after little Johnny and the Appleseed Gang got hold of it there was nothing but charred remains. Sorry, no pictures...yet.


The Culprit


Breakfast


Rest In Peace

And now...the rest of the story:

Two weekends ago I was spending some time at my parents' suburban home in Metro Birmingham. It was about 9 a.m. so I decided I would see if the neighbors were out having their daily shuffle board lesson. To my surprise, instead of seeing an 80 year old man in his underwear pushing a broom, I saw a huge turkey (don't let your mind wander). There, in the middle of shopping malls and hundreds of homes, this Tom (correct name for a male turkey, not the neighbor) was all by himself in what was probably his former home. He wouldn't let me get close enough to get a good picture, not to mention half the neighborhood was already out with their 12 gauge shotguns thinking they had a free meal. It's Alabama, what do you expect?


Wild Turkey!


Look Mom...Dinner!

Random Thoughts About Spirituality (Part 2)

Part 1 of this series seemed to generate some pretty deep thoughts, which is why I haven't posted Part 2 until now. I will make the same disclaimer I made last time: Please understand I am NOT against the church in any way. How could I be against the bride of Christ? That would be foolish. The following are thoughts I am processing and dealing with, and I want to make them available for criticism, reflection, questions, or any other responses. And now...the rest of the story:

Here is a thought that, unless you know my heart, you may not agree with. Why do we limit God to the Bible? Why have we taken a leather-bound book and said from Genesis to Revelation, that is all God has to say? You may be saying “But Jon, don’t you realize you are speaking heresy. You are belittling the Word of God!!” No I’m not. You place chains on God when all you do is read the Bible and never take time to listen. God wants to speak!! Jesus said “Many more things I have to say to you!” I heard a great analogy recently. I can go out to eat with my wife, and I can take all the love notes she has ever written me and read them on our date. Why would I do that when I have the absolute privilege of talking with her, as she is sitting right across from me? In fact, after awhile she would probably become annoyed and leave. Please don’t interpret what I am not saying. I am not saying to quit reading the Bible, and I am not saying that God is annoyed with you and will leave you. Do you believe God has more to say?

Atomic Clocks - Are They Real?

Do you have an Atomic Clock? I do, and I think it’s pretty cool. I never have to set the time because it is programmed from a big radio-active tower in Colorado (I wonder if that is dangerous).

Well, the other day the time got all messed up…it was running two hours slow. So it caused me to wonder how accurate the clocks are, and how I was going to correct the time. I mean, if the clock sets on its own, there shouldn’t be a way to set the time on the back of the clock, right? Wrong. I found out you can program the time manually, which means my Atomic Clock has lost all credibility in my mind. I wonder if Wal-Mart will take it back…it’s only been two years since I bought it.

Update: Due to the overwhelming (and somewhat wordy) responses I have had to "Random Thoughts About Spirituality (Part 1)" I am holding off on the second part until tomorrow. Feel free to post your final comments.

Random Thoughts About Spirituality (Part 1)

Please understand I am NOT against the church in anyway. How could I be against the bride of Christ? That would be foolish. The following are thoughts I am processing and dealing with, and I want to make them available for criticism, reflection, questions, or any other responses.

Why is there another church planting movement happening today? Is it because there is a spiritual hunger that we believe church can fix? We believe programs can fix it, so we tweak an old machine. We add a GenX worship service, or we add a cool new VBS theme. But what if God wanted to give us a whole new system altogether? What if He doesn’t want us to tweak an old car, but wants to give us a brand new one. And what if He wants you and I to drive? Are we preparing ourselves for such a shift, or are we trying to plan? Planning limits God…it binds Him. Preparation invites him. How much preparation are we doing?

Update: KB, I replied to your comments on April 7. Thanks for your thoughts.

Back

I'm back...with a broken back. I don't know what is going on with my back, but apparently it didn't want me to go to work yesterday. As soon as I attempted to get out of my car at the office I pulled, twtisted or broke something in my lower back. Wow does it hurt. Although I have never been stabbed, and hopefully never will, I'm sure the acute pain is similiar. Have you ever been stabbed? Would you tell me what it feels like?

I refuse to buy in to the system of doctors. About 6 months ago I was having back trouble. I went to one doctor who spent 2.3 minutes with me and then told me to get an MRI and come back. I went back and he spent another 2.3 minutes with me and referred me to another doctor. That doctor then referred me to physical therapy, and now that I want to go back, I need another prescription. Apparently you need a new prescription every 30 days. It is evident that being a doctor is no different than being a money hungry CEO. Any comments?

Update: My garden is so slow...why is it taking so long for flowers to come up? My deodarant test went well (seen previous post). I am convinced Sure is not good, and that I need to switch back to my previous brand or test another. Any comments?

Bag Boys and Deodorant

So I was at the grocery store the other day and noticed I was bagging my own groceries. As I processed this historical event, I began to reminisce on all of my recent grocery store outings. I cannot recall the last time I had my groceries bagged. What has happened to all the bag boys?!? Why am I paying more for groceries now, but yet I get less service? Have they all gone on strike? Have they been outsourced to Mexico? Were they all abducted in some government conspiracy to eliminate all possible help at grocery stores? Has the bag boy union gone out of business? I know they haven't been moved to stock boy positions, because the store is STILL out of organic milk every time I go in. WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO THE BAG BOYS?!? I demand to know.

While I was at that same grocery store I decided to do a little experiment. I bought another brand of deodorant...one I am not accustomed to. For the next week, I will put the new deodorant under one arm (the right), and the old deodorant under the other (the left). Four categories will be ranked: smell at the end of the day, perspiration (is it showing through the shirt), what my wife thinks, and any reactions. I will keep you posted.

In other news...
I have heard limited response from my two posts dated April 6 & 7. Each post had two, what I consider good, questions. People, I need you to respond. This blog is pointless unless you give feedback. Now, I need you to carry your weight, put aside anything important, and give me feedback. As a reward, you can say that you are a published author on the World Wide Web, and a member of the “Blogosphere.”

Ramblings

There are a few things today that I just want to throw out there...

My friend Jay is getting married in Bolivia and has asked me to be in the wedding. I don't know if I will be able to go or not. GenXer's have such a desire for community that we are willing to travel thousands of miles to be with, or I should say to experience life with, each other. I think that is amazing. We have such a different understanding of community and work/life balance than our grandparents did, and even our parents. Many of our parents and grandparents feel like we were created to work. GenXer's know we were created to commune with each and God. Most of us cringe at the thought of going to work, coming home, mowing the grass, watching TV, and then going to bed...day after day after day. I personally throw up when I think of a life full of repetition...excuse me...okay I'm back.

My friend Sean has an iBook. My brother has a PowerBook. I have...a Dell. I hate it. I want a Mac. Sean came in the office today with pride on his face. He was so excited because he discovered voice recognition technology on his Mac. You know how long it took him to set it up? 1 Min. You know how long it takes to set up on Windows? 1 year.

Last but not least, Vote for Pedro!

Spring Training for the Heart

Tomorrow we are hosting a conference for pastors and lay leaders called Spring Training for the Heart. I think it will be a pretty interesting conference. Reggie McNeal, who is the main speaker, has written three books. In one book, The Present Future, he writes that "Church people still think that secularism holds sway and that people outside the church have trouble connecting to God. The problem is that when people come to church, expecting to find God, they often encounter a religious club holding a meeting where God is conspicuously absent" (59).

I believe one of the main problems people have with God today is that they don't see Him at work in the "average" Christian. What do you think?

April Showers...

Well, the planting is done. Now I just sit back, relax, and wait for the flowers to come up. I hate being patient.

I have started reading a great book lately called E-Myth Mastery by Michael Gerber. It has made me question how many people I know, including myself, that are truly passionate about what we do. Are you? How many of us have passions locked inside that we never let out simply because of fear. "What would people say? What if I don't accomplish it? What if I lose my job?" My philosophy is that most people carry on a normal life, with little to show for it in the end. Who did we impact? How many people did we see changed? What cause did we champion? I personally can't stand the thought of leading a normal life. It scares me to death to think of doing things "the way they're supposed to be done." In fact, it makes me downright mad that we never question the way things are done, because what if it could be done better. What do you think?

"Given the right circumstances, from no more than dreams, determination, and the liberty to try, quite ordinary people consistently do extraordinary things." From Birth of the Chaordic Age, by Dee Hock

Planting Time

Call me weird, but I like to work in the yard...most days. I find it pretty relaxing, and the fact that you can see the progress you made instantly is pretty rewarding. Tonight, however, I am going to plant bulbs. I wonder if I have the patience to wait...and wait...and wait again for those blooms to start coming up. Karen and I went kind of crazy at Lowes and bought something like 50 bulbs of different flowers.

I have an issue with dirt. This weekend I went and bought a 1/2 truckload of dirt, and it barely filled 1/4 of the area I wanted it to fill up. Dirt is EVERYWHERE...why do I have to pay $40 for it, especially when it doesn't accomplish what I want it to? Anyone know where I can get some good dirt?

Missing The Plane

I really like Panera Bread. If you don't have one in your neighborhood, you're missing out (especially on the sodium). However, due to an overpowering urge to eat there on Monday, we missed our flight from Harrisburg, PA back to Birmingham. We actually got to the gate and they had given our seats away. It happened to be the worst day ever to miss a flight. What should have been a 4 hour trip turned into 15 hours when we finally arrived home at 2:30 a.m. Apparently every plane in the U.S. decided to fly on Monday, causing major delays, and we ended up having to fly into Atlanta and then drive to Birmingham. As good as Panera is (minus the heartburn) it wasn't worth the hassle.